Fallout
by Catherine4
Summary: Extra scenes taking place after 6x10 dealing within the implications of Adam's decision to take the fall for Antonio, and his relationship with Hailey being out in the open. Upzek. Naturally! Oneshot.


_Extra scenes after 6x10. I have a lot of feelings after that episode and need to work them out. This fic is primarily therapy for me, but I hope you enjoy reading it too. I think I might actually be coming to ship them a little bit, I'm surprising myself. But really I just ship any storyline that gives Tracy screen time! Upton's my favourite._

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Hailey sat on the stoop in front of Adam's building, her jacket wrapped around herself to keep out the cold. She was about to bail when a cab pulled up at the curb and Adam stumbled out. He stopped when he saw her, leaning on the lamppost to steady himself. It was clear he'd been drinking. As the cab pulled away, Adam fished his keys out of his jacket pocket and walked towards the building. Hailey stood up.

"Where have you been?" she asked when he'd reached the top step. In an effort to keep the emotion out of her voice the question came across more aggressive than she intended.

"Molly's" Adam replied, on the defensive. "I needed a drink. It's been a hell of a day."

"You're telling me" Hailey said, and this time her voice caught in her throat. She took her hands from her jeans pockets and took a step towards Adam.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were pissed at me."

Hailey put her hands on Adam's chest and rested her forehead there too. When she spoke, her words were muffled by his sweater. "I'm absolutely furious with you" she said and took a deep breath. She smelled whisky and smoke on his clothes and felt the warmth of his body and found it comforting, despite the emotions swelling inside her.

Adam hesitated a moment before putting his arms around her. Out of this whole mess, this right here was what he regretted the most. Causing Hailey pain. He hugged her for a second before asking "do you want to come inside?"

Inside his apartment, when he switched on the light, Adam could see that Hailey had been crying. He kicked off his boots and hung up his jacket and finally pulled off his tie and flung it on the dresser in his hallway. He was stalling for time, trying to think what he could possibly say to make any of this better for her.

"Why are you here, Hailey?" Adam asked again. "If you're here to give me a lecture, I'm not sure I can take it."

"I needed to see you" Hailey said quietly. "I was worried about you."

Even in his drunken haze Adam recognised how hard that was for Hailey to admit that and he reached out for her hand. "I'm okay. I'll be okay."

Hailey put her other hand to her face and looked away. "I'm so angry at you Adam. And I don't understand. Voight gave you a chance to get out of this mess and you didn't take it. Why?"

"I explained this to you" Adam said. He did his best to keep his voice level. He'd raised his voice the last time they had a conversation of this nature and it led to Halstead overhearing them. Thank God it was only Halstead, or else he would have not only outed their relationship to the entire district, but would have broadcast the lies he'd told about Rizzo's death as well. "I want to protect the unit."

"And who's going to protect the unit if something happens to you?" Hailey asked, exasperated. The passion, the depth of emotion and strength in his beliefs that Adam Ruzek held inside him was one of the things that drew Hailey to him in the first place, but now it was the thing that was tearing her up inside. "Who's going to protect me?"

Adam went to put his arms around her, but Hailey let go of his hand and backed away. "It wasn't supposed to be like this" she said. She ran her fingers through her hair in the way she did when she was on edge. All Adam wanted to do was calm her but he realised that as he was the cause of her anguish that probably wasn't possible.

When Hailey turned back to him, her eyes were red and her voice hoarse. "I'm angry at myself for letting things get this far. It was just supposed to be a bit of fun, just sex. But dammit Adam, you made me fall for you."

This revelation took Adam by surprise and for a moment he was too stunned to speak. But then despite everything a small smile crept onto his lips. "Is that so?"

Hailey noticed. "No. You don't get to be happy right now. I… I need a drink."

Hailey downed the first shot of whisky Adam poured and held out her glass for another. The second slid down her throat with ease as well. It was only when Adam poured a third measure that she stopped and stared into the sweet burning liquid, allowing the liquor she'd drunk to work its magic and settle her nerves.

"I didn't mean to hurt you Hailey. That's the last thing I wanted to do." Adam poured himself a drink and screwed the cap back on the bottle. He took a sip. They sat on the couch side by side, neither wanting to meet the other's eye.

"I meant what I said before. I care about you. I don't want to see you get hurt. After what happened to Olinsky…"

"Hey, stop. That won't happen to me."

"You don't know that."

Adam took Hailey's glass from her and set them both down on the coffee table. Hailey let him, she was too emotionally exhausted to protest. She watched his purposeful movements and wondered if he did everything in life with as much assurance and resolve. He finally turned to her, staring into her beautiful blue eyes, but didn't say a word. There wasn't really anything to say.

"Help me to understand" Hailey said. She brought her hand up to his face and rested it on his cheek. "What happened at that warehouse?"

Adam didn't want to tell her, he didn't want to drag her any further into this. As if reading his mind, Hailey spoke again.

"I'm already in this, Adam. Voight knows I've figured out the truth, and he knows about us. And Jay caught us… Like it or not, we're all involved now so we deserve to know."

Adam nodded slowly. She was right, of course she was right. He owed her this. He kissed her hand where it rested on his cheek.

"It was Antonio who pushed the offender out the window. Rizzo was goading him, about Eva. He ran at him and the next thing we knew…" Adam trailed off. "I had to protect him Hailey, if IRT had found out he was there that would have been it for him, they would have had his badge. He had drugs in his system and that would have been all the reason they needed to come down on him."

Hailey didn't say a word, this much she'd figured out on her own. She felt for Antonio, she really did. Seeing what a mess he was in when he finally admitted to the team he had a problem and seeing him go through hell when his daughter was missing, the last thing she wanted was for him to lose his job. He was a good man and a good cop, he didn't deserve that. But she was as frustrated as hell that this was the only alternative option.

"Adam, I get your loyalty to the unit. Because I feel loyalty to you. But there must be another way. Hell, there was another way. Voight and Platt gave you another option, why didn't you take it?"

Adam turned away then, not because he wanted to hide anything from her, but because he wasn't sure he had the words to explain why. But Hailey wasn't letting him get away with evading her questions that easily, she was too worried and too upset.

"After everything that happened with Al… Did that even cross your mind?"

"It's because of Al I'm going through with this!" Adam raised his voice suddenly and Hailey jumped back. Immediately he calmed down. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" he said quickly, remembering her warning to him once to keep his temper if he wanted to keep this thing with her going.

Hailey sighed. "We're both upset" she said. "Here." She picked up their glasses again and handed Adam his drink. This time he downed the remaining whisky and discarded the glass.

"The first day Al picked me up from the academy and brought me to meet Voight he told me he saw something of himself in me and I was his kind of police. He trusted me and believed in me, I have to live up to that. If I hadn't stepped up for Antonio, it would feel like an insult to his memory. I have to justify his faith in me. Al would have been the first person to stand up for any one of us, you know that."

"Yeah" Hailey said, and a tear slid down her cheek. She wiped it away quickly. "And it got him killed. I can't lose you that way."

After spending so much time insisting their hook up was casual and shutting down any attempt Adam made to nudge their relationship onto more solid ground, the intensity with which Hailey was now making her feelings for him clear was somewhat of a shock to Adam. He saw how hard it was for her, what internal struggle was going on inside her then and wanted to kiss it away.

"I'll be safe" he said. He wanted to reassure her. "I promise."

Hailey shook her head. "You can't promise that."

"We put our lives on the line every day. Each time we step onto a crime scene we're putting our lives in danger. To me, this is no different. I protect my own, that's just the kind of cop I am. I'd do it for any member of the unit. I'd do it for you."

"I wouldn't ask you to."

"You wouldn't have to."

They were so close their foreheads were touching and they could feel each other's whisky-infused breath on their cheeks. Hailey closed her eyes. The very person she wanted to seek comfort from was the same person who was causing her distress and it sent her head into a spin. The alcohol she'd consumed in quick succession had gone to her head and she couldn't think straight, all she could concentrate was Adam's body next to hers, his breath on her face and the look in his eyes.

"I hate this" she said in a voice so quiet she wasn't sure he'd hear her.

"I do too" Adam admitted, "but I like _this_ very much."

Their lips were already practically touching but Hailey was the one to instigate the kiss. It was long and deep and urgent. She knew this wouldn't fix anything. In fact, it would probably make it worse. When they went to work tomorrow, they would have all manner of crap to deal with, not least Voight and Jay knowing about their relationship. It would only be a matter of time before everyone else found out too. But right now, she couldn't think about that. All Hailey could think about was the possibility that she would lose Adam, one way or another, when this coverup fell apart, so she wanted him as close as possible now while she still could be with him. In the past, this would be the time when she would begin to back away, sabotaging her relationship to lessen the heartache further down the line, but this time it was different. Hailey couldn't explain why.

She climbed off the couch without a word. But Adam recognised the look she gave him and knew exactly what she needed from him. What they both needed from each other.

Afterwards, they lay under the covers on Adam's bed, and he played with Hailey's hair as she lay with her head on his chest. "I'm not done talking about this" Hailey said. "I still think you're insane for doing this."

"I know you do. But what's done is done, now I just have to let it play out. I can't take it back. I'll understand if you want to distance yourself from this, from me. It was my choice to put my career in jeopardy but I won't ask you to do the same."

Hailey lifted her head. "No. I'm here for you. I meant it when I said I care about you. And if Jay hadn't walked in when he did yesterday you would've heard me say that I'll support you no matter what."

"Do you mean that?"

"Look, we're never going to agree on this, and I'll never completely understand your choices, but I can look past all that because of the way I feel about you. Voight might think it's a mistake to let my emotions get in the way of the job because of a guy I'm dating, but I don't see it that way. I can't shut my emotions off when I'm doing my job, I've never been able to do that. What kind of cop would that make me? What kind of person? You have your code, I have mine, and mine says that I should trust you to know what kind of officer you want to be, whatever the consequences."

Adam was touched by this. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tight. After a moment, he said "Voight said that?"

"Yep."

"I guess our secret's out then."

"That's the least of your worries."

Adam gave an ironic laugh. "True. But how do you feel about it? You're the one that's always said you didn't want this getting out."

"You're right, I did say that."

Hailey closed her eyes. It was true that a few months ago when they embarked on this affair, she didn't want to deal with the gossip and the drama for something that was only supposed to be a one night stand. Back then it wasn't worth it, to have her colleagues look at her differently for a reason that wouldn't last. But without really noticing until it was too late, her relationship with Adam had evolved. Now it was more than sex for her. She hadn't admitted it at the start but she knew deep down that Adam always hoped their relationship would reach the next stage. Now they seemed to be here, and although the reason for her finally admitting her true feelings wasn't ideal, it had happened and she didn't want to take it back.

"I don't care" Hailey said finally. "Everyone at the district will probably know by tomorrow, but I don't care. I'm in. I'm here for you, whatever you need. But Adam, don't lie to me again. Don't keep things from me to try and protect me out of some sense of nobility. Be honest. Let me make my own choice. That's all I ask."

Adam took a deep breath. He was sure his choice had spelled the end of this thing with Hailey. He knew her well enough to know she wouldn't agree with his choice to do what he did to protect Antonio, but underestimated her capacity to look beyond the perceived stupidity of his actions to the reasons behind them. He felt like she saw the man he was and she was ok with what she saw. And he saw her too. How much understanding she had even when she was mad, and how much she was willing to risk for someone she cared for.

For someone to see you for who you truly are and accept it and stay, that was precious. Adam realised how lucky he was. He rolled over so he was lying on his side, propped up on his elbow and Hailey was forced to do the same. Adam put his hands on her head and kissed her. "You're amazing, do you know that? I care about you too. So much. I don't think I said it."

"I know you do" Hailey said gently. "Wouldn't our lives be simpler right now if we didn't feel this way?"

Adam shook his head and brushed the hair from her eyes. "Maybe. But I wouldn't change it, not for anything. Would you?"

Hailey responded wordlessly with a shake of her head and Adam settled back into the pillows. "We should get some sleep" he said, and they did, tucked up in each other's arms.

They rode to work together the next morning, Hailey and Adam, and there was no talk of him dropping her off a few blocks away from the district. He parked his car in the lot behind the station and they walked into the building side by side. They weren't holding hands but they may as well have been. It felt like a coming out of sorts. It was a declaration, at least for Hailey, that she was sticking by Adam whatever went down and didn't care a bit about what anyone else thought.

The first person they ran into when they got upstairs was Jay and it was just as uncomfortable as Hailey had expected. "Good morning" she said. She removed her jacket and slung it over the back of her chair.

"Alright?" Jay asked. It was a loaded question and Hailey nodded slowly.

"Actually yeah, I think so."

Across the room at his own desk Adam put his takeout coffee down and took off his own jacket. Jay watched them both and the uneasy way they moved in silence, both of them unsure how this new dynamic would affect the team.

Adam coughed. "Is Burgess in yet?"

Hailey could see from his body language why Adam had asked this and she wasn't surprised. She met his eyes and nodded, giving him permission in that one simple gesture to come clean with his ex. She glanced at Jay and saw that he had come to the same conclusion about Adam's reason for asking.

"Her and Attwater went to talk to a CI. They should be back soon."

Adam took in this news silently. He sat down at his desk and switched on his computer, hoping to get lost in some menial administration task to keep his mind distracted until Kim returned.

A few minutes later there were footsteps on the stairs and Kim and Kevin appeared, bagels in hand and laughing about something together as they entered. Catching the strange mood in the room, they both fell silent and looked from Jay to Hailey to Adam and back again.

Adam stood up. "Kim, can I talk to you please?"

Kim nodded, her brow furrowed. "Sure." She followed Adam into Voight's empty office and he closed the door and drew the blinds.

"Anyone want coffee?" Kevin asked. It wasn't clear whether he actually wanted coffee himself or wanted to remove himself from the situation but he disappeared into the kitchenette.

Jay shoved his hands in his jeans pockets and looked towards the closed office. "Wow" he said. "That's gotta be one awkward conversation going on in there."

Hailey tried to laugh but she couldn't bring herself to make light of it, not when it implied so much about Adam's intentions. "Yeah" was all she said.

"If Adam's talking to Kim, it must be serious between the two of you. It is, isn't it?"

Hailey shrugged, but answered in the affirmative. "I suppose so. I didn't mean for it to get this far." Hailey sat down on her chair and put her head in her hands. She didn't notice Jay approach until she felt the desk move under his weight as he perched on the edge.

"I meant it when I said you don't owe me an explanation. But if you want to talk about it, about anything, you know I've got your back, right?"

Hailey looked up and smiled. "I know. Thanks partner." She shoved him playfully and this time managed a smile. The matter settled, Jay walked away.

"Listen up." Voight appeared behind them at just the same time as Adam and Kim emerged from his office. Voight watched them and raised an eyebrow questioningly, but decided now was definitely not the time. He had more important things to deal with than his unit's complicated love lives. Not for the first time he regretted relaxing his self-imposed no fraternisation rule, but there wasn't a lot he could do about it now. From Kim and Adam's body language he had a fair idea what had just gone down but decided that unless their work was affected, he would let his team deal with any personal issues in their own ways. "New case. Where's Kev? We should get started right away."

"I'm here boss." Kevin appeared with a mug in his hands and sat down, waiting to hear their next assignment.

Throughout the briefing Hailey listened, but her eyes kept drifting to Kim. She noticed Kim wouldn't meet her eye. Hailey felt a little ball of anxiety form in the pit of her stomach. She didn't want to be part of this cliché. Growing up she always hated whenever her girlfriends fell out over a guy, and now she was an adult it felt even worse. This was one of the many reasons she avoided getting involved with co-workers. But she would fix it, or at least try.

She cornered Kim in the locker room as the team prepared to head out. "Hey" she began nervously. "Adam told you about us, didn't he?"

Kim closed her locker door. "Yeah, he did. It's alright, Hailey. Really. Adam and I have been over for a long time. He's allowed to move on."

"Really?" Hailey was unsure whether to take what Kim was saying at face value. She was very conscious of the fact that part of their job was to lie for a living, and concealing their true feelings was a skill that came in very handy in Intelligence. "I don't want this to come between us."

Kim smiled. "It won't, I promise. We're all adults, we can be professional."

Adam entered the room just then, his timing as great as ever. He froze in the doorway when he saw her was interrupting something and shrank away, embarrassed. "Are you ready to go?" He asked. "Voight and Attwater are waiting outside."

"Absolutely" Kim said. Hailey only nodded.

They let Burgess walk ahead and Adam leaned into Hailey and spoke in hushed tones. "Is everything cool?" he asked. "I didn't want her to hear about us from the gossip mill, I hope you understand."

"I do" Hailey said. She squeezed his arm as they walked along. "You did the right thing. If it was me, I'd want to hear it in person too."

Without discussing it, Hailey and Adam both realised the significance of Adam telling Kim. It shifted their relationship out of the closed bubble of their private lust and into the light. How it would affect them and everyone around them was yet to be determined, but there was no escaping it now. Whatever came from their relationship being exposed, and from Adam's decision to protect Antonio, they would just have to wait around and see.

Walking along the corridor towards the back exit that lead into the parking lot, Adam took a risk and put his arm around Hailey's waist. She threw him off pretty quickly, but not before he had planted a kiss on her cheek.

"Thank you" he said, his voice quiet so only she could hear.

"For what?"

"Everything. Sticking by me even though you don't agree with me. For being you."

Hailey allowed herself a small smile and touched Adam's fingers lightly with her own. "Any time."


End file.
